Gratefulness part II

Gratefulness part ii… Yesterday’s post dealt with gratefulness, and there was a question that would have made the post way too long: “But how does having burn outs and severe depression tie into faith? That’s totally illogical, right? Because if you have faith, then you should never ever be depressed and let alone need psychologists, psychiatrists or gasp: medication, right?”

Technically, yes. Let’s look at it from a logical perspective. We serve God, who created the universe. By the way, as a side note, my belief is based on the Bible. (Quite an important aspect don’t you think? haha). Now if God created the universe, logic would dictate that He is above all – meaning He is omnipotent, omnipresent and omni something else. (Don’t fault me for not knowing everything right out of the top of my head please!)

Another important factor to weigh in, is that we also know that God is love. So, if He is omni-all, and He is love, then as said before, technically there is no reason for me to be depressed because He has me in the palm of his hand and therefore nothing would be out there to harm me. Are you with me?

The other side of the equation is different though. The burn-out came with a LOT of tiredness. No surprise given that it came about by sweeping everything under the rug. Meanwhile, the rug had been used extensively, was torn and consequently all the garbage was exposed in one go. Yay!

Dealing with them proved to be too much to handle on my own, and not even the knowledge that God had my back was enough to keep me sane. So even though I believed in God, even though I knew He had everything in the palm of his hand, I was unable to process this in my muddied brain.

Now there are numerous people who say: you should pray. Yes, you should. But what if that’s not enough? What if your belief system is tarnished and no matter how much you pray it isn’t ‘enough’? What did I just say? Prayer is not enough? How DARE I?

But it was my reality. Prayer before came easy: I could talk to God about anything. In that state? Nope. Nothing. Nada. And that’s when I decided to seek help. If I was in a car crash, I’d go to the hospital too, right? I would get that cast or the pain medication necessary to heal. This in my case is no different – I was unable to get back on track without help. 

If you need help, seek it please. Don’t let other people dictate when you should or shouldn’t look for help. Let your own relationship with God dictate to you what you must do. Not everyone is built the same, and the moment we think that we have a blue print one size fits all, is when we can literally lose people. Just like it almost happened to me.

And that’s why I’m telling this story: I am grateful to still be alive, I am grateful for all the people who prayed me through and grateful again for life in general. That’s gratefulness part ii for y’a. You know what to do: any comments feel free to leave’m below! Stay blessed.